Bereavement

noun

state of sorrow over the death or departure of a loved one [syn: mourning] ¹

I tried so hard not to cry, but I couldn't hold it back. I didn't even think I was hypnotized, how could I be having these feelings? I was so glad to be back with them, and they didn't want me to leave because I had been gone so long. I had to go though, I volunteered for the job, I was the only one who could do it, and I was sacrificing heaven for it. They were so sad, and I felt the sorrow of being ripped away.

I went in for my regression on Sunday morning. It was a difficult session. We were in a very busy shop, with noises everywhere. I also brought my husband along for the ride. The point in my regression was to find him in a past life. Hilary suggested that maybe if he regressed too, that we could meet on the astral plane and go back together. That isn't quite what happened though.

Neither one of us felt like we were under, but one of us was. Probably both of us were, it's just a matter of understanding what being under feels like. I was trying really hard, probably too hard. I couldn't get through the door at the bottom of the stairs to enter a past life. Once I finally did go back, beyond birth, I found the astral plane. I think I've been there before, but this time was different.

Hilary asked me to go from the plane to a previous life, but once I got there I didn't want to leave. She asked me to choose a life and go into it, but I couldn't. I wouldn't. I told her "no". She wanted to know why. Holding back the tears, I told her, "because they've waited so long for us to be together." She asked again if I was ready to go back to another life and I started to cry. I felt how sad everyone was, they didn't want me to leave. I was losing everyone I loved all at one time.

I woke up.

After a quick break we tried a different induction outside on the sea shore. While I was going under I saw two kids playing on the shore. They were playing around the lava rocks that sprinkled surf, and they were having the time of their life. They were laughing and running. They were best friends, and they were brother and sister. She was about 9 years old, he was about 11. It was also me and my husband, in the year 3013.

Every time I tried to ask him to show me around we'd jump to someplace new. From the beach we were someplace really primitive, and I tried to communicate, but I couldn't. I asked to go someplace else. This time I saw rice paddies and didn't believe it and asked to go somewhere else.

I saw cliffs of black rock with rolling green hills. Thoughts of Ireland came to mind. Then I saw sheep and started to laugh. This was sooo wrong... I was a farmer in Scotland around 1820 and my husband was now my daughter... What was I seeing? Is this just an active imagination? Why would I see this of all things?